Mary turned and gasped in spite of herself as a bright fuchsia suit sporting huge gold buttons came towards her and Susan. Accompanying the suit, were a pair of custom dyed, to match the suit, ankle strapped shoes, each sprouting a large pink peony at the toe. In her hand, Delta carried a purse of the same color, also blooming peonies.
On her left shoulder she wore one of her own creations. The State of Texas, done up in white fur, sprouted turquoise feathers where Austin, Houston, San Antonio and Dallas would be on a map. Her hair was a sight to behold. One great curl lay smack dab in the center of her forehead. Mary's finger's itched to move the thing, but alas, it was anchored solidly there by an abundance of Aqua Net.
Delta enveloped Mary in a bear hug, the overpowering scent of Jovan Musk assaulted Mary's nostrils. "Oh, Sister Magnum! Do stop by my booth at the Exhibit Hall. This year I am featuring all fifty States in my lapel pin collection!"
Mary pasted a smile to her face, tempted to scratch her nose where the great cities of Texas had tickled it and nodded her head in mock interest. She silently thought to herself, "It'll be a cold day in Arizona before I wear a State on MY shoulder!" Mary extricated herself from Delta's embrace and waited as she conducted the same routine with Susan, and then, they were off to find a good seat in the auditorium!
Later, in the Sanctuary, Mary retrieved a tissue from her purse and dapped at her eyes and blew her nose. Oh the Foreign Missions presentation had been so moving! She and her husband had put their heads together in earnest discussion, speaking softly so as not to be heard and had settled upon a substantial amount to give in the offering. She would have to put off the purchase of that Coach bag she had been eyeing, but some Missionaries wife would have a new washer, dryer or refrigerator, and for that, a sense of peace and satisfaction settled in her chest.
As the dear Brother droned on and on about facts and figures, Mary reached into her purse and retrieved her handy dandy little binoculars she had purchased some time ago especially for Conference. They were a MUST HAVE in her opinion, the better to keep an eye one's children, she told herself as she scanned the crowd to see who was wearing what and who was sitting with whom.
There was her son Ethan, with the Steven's boy. Both held cups of soda in one hand whilst playing paper, rock, scissors with the other. There were the girls, Hannah and Natalie, a boy on either side of them. One young man leaned over and whispered something in Hannah's ear. Hannah erupted into giggles and slapped him on the shoulder. Pursing her lips, Mary vowed to give them all a tongue lashing and a lecture on proper behavior after the service!
Delta Decker must be turning a good profit Mary mused, for from her vantage point, she could just make out Florida, California, Missouri and Alabama all resting proudly upon the shoulders of their owners.
As she continued scanning the crowd she aimed her binoculars toward the stage area. She was admiring the floral arrangements when, from her peripheral vision, movement caught her eye. Adjusting the focus somewhat, the spied a beefy man with a pony tail trailing down his back bending over something. He was hidden from view to those on the ground floor by a large silk palm tree, but from her location, and with the use of the binoculars, she could see him quite clearly.
He was bent at the waist foraging around in a large box of some sort, a vacant folding chair sat nearby. He repeatedly cast furtive glances over his shoulder which caused Mary to lean forward in her seat, adjusting the binoculars for a better look. Just then, he stood up. Mary instantly recognized him as one of the snack bar employees from the lobby. He spun around, giving Mary a birds-eye view of what he held in his hands.........the offering!! The Missions offering she and her husband had just given to! Her Coach bag money!
He began to sprint down the aisle. The Saints, thinking a sinner had "come home" rose to their feet as if on cue, praising God for the "new convert" running the aisles. Watching this unfold, Mary did what any sane, sensible person would do. Here! Hold my purse! She hollered above the din to Susan sitting next to her. She then tore out of her seat waving her arms frantically, screaming like a banshee. Of course this only served to incite the entire balcony and nosebleed section into a spiritual frenzy.
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