"No sudden moves." The lady growled, tears having disappeared as quickly as they had appeared. Mary swallowed with difficulty, her mouth suddenly dry as cotton. "Stand up." Mary stood. "Go sit down in front of that mirror." Mary turned and for the first time got a good look at herself in the mirror. The "billie goat" horns had returned with a vengeance, coupled with the strand of hair she had pulled on the button in the rounder. Her hair, endowed with copious amounts of gel, mousse and hairspray, only served to cause the strand to firmly maintain it's position. It stood proudly, as a unicorn horn, a full ten inches from scalp to stern. Behind her, Heather brandished a fierce looking Glock. It quivered ever so slightly.
Heather nudged Mary with the butt of the gun. Bad hair forgotten, Mary walked to the mirror, turned, faced her captor and slid down the wall to a seated position. "I'm gonna get out of here, and you're my ticket. I've got nothing to lose and a lot of money to gain." She sneered as she gestured toward the backpack full of jewels on her back. "You really don't want to do this." Mary said, voice reedy and faint. She swallowed and continued. "I have children, three of them. My twin girls Hannah and Natalie are fifteen. Hannah's real particular about her appearance, real prissy. And then, there's Natalie." Mary laughed softly. "Oh, she's a mess. The life of the party, never meets a stranger, you know the type. And then there's Ethan, my son, he's twelve. He and I are really close, there's a unique bond there." Mary envisioned Ethan that morning, his mouth full of cereal and his "mohawk." Her throat thickened and her eyes burned as tears filled them. She went on. "And then of course there's my husband. He's the most wonderful man in the world! We've been married almost twenty years, high school sweethearts, never dated anyone else." Her voice trailed off. "We have a cat." Heather just looked at Mary, devoid of emotion. "He's just an old alley cat, sort of orangish in color, he loves to sleep in the..........laundrey basket." For some reason the cat did it. The dam broke and Mary burst into tears.
Heather slid off of the bench and came towards Mary. Mary cowered against the mirror hands in front of her face. "I'm not gonna hurt ya." Heather said as she plopped down cross legged next to Mary. Heather sighed as though she bore the very weight of the world on her thin shoulders. "I used to have all that. At least I did before they took my kids and my husband walked out on me." "What happened?" Mary sniffed and pinched the tip of her nose. "Here, let me get you a tissue." Heather reached into her back pocket and pulled out a couple of Subway napkins. It was then, as she handed the napkins to her that Mary noticed the green ring around Heather's left hand ring finger. Mary blew her nose. "Can I get something out of my purse?" Mary asked warily keeping an eye on the gun which now lay limply in Heather's lap. Heather regarded Mary closely. After what seemed an eternity, she said. "Yeah, I guess, just no funny business." Mary rose awkwardly and walked over to her purse lying on the bench. She searched for a few seconds until she finally found what she was searching for. Hurrying back to her place on the floor in front of the mirror, she too sat cross legged facing Heather. "Is this yours?" She asked as she held the tightly wadded ball of lines paper out to Heather. "And this?" Mary opened her other hand to reveal the thing gold wedding band. All color faded from Heather's face. She nodded yes. "Why don't you tell me about it?" Mary whispered.
The crackle of a police radio shattered the silence. "Johnston, what is your position?" A voice erupted from a walkie talkie. "I'm here with a white female, approximately sixty years of age. It appears as though she has been struck in the head with a blunt object, probably by our perp." Johnston responded slightly breathless. "What is your position and do you have an ID on the victim?" asked the static voice of a police Sergeant. "I'm in the ladies department, upper level. The victim appears to be the clerk in this area, her name tag reads Bonnie." "Roger that." Replied the Sergeant. "The department store has been cleared, all employees have gathered in the customer service area and are accounted for. However, there are reports of a customer still inside." The police officer attending Bonnie glanced around and asked, "do you have a description of the customer sir?" "She has been described as a white female, approximately forty years of age. She's wearing a skirt, button up shirt and walking shoes. Dark hair, looks like she just rolled out of bed and threw it up into a bun, strange looking horn thingys at each temple. She was last seen crawling on all fours, a Coach bag dangling from her teeth. The perp is possibly armed and dangerous, it is imperative that we locate that customer, her life could be at risk." "Yes sir, we will begin a search as soon as Bonnie has received medical attention, the EMT's have just arrived." The police officer responded to his superior.
From the dressing room Mary could hear the arrival of others. Must be the EMT's she thought. She heard the metallic clank of a gurney being positioned and a low moan as Bonnie was loaded onto it. Mary said a silent prayer for her new found friend, when, out of the blue, Heather's arm encircled Mary's neck and drew Mary hard against her chest. Heather's other arm positioned the gun against Mary's temple. "Don't make a sound." Heather growled.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Mall Ministry Mayhem - Part 6
Her back was killing her and it was becoming more and more difficult to breath. A fly buzzed around her ear, landing on the lobe and lazily made it's way dangerously close to her left nostril. Afraid to breath in too deeply for fear of sucking the thing up her nose. She blew out forcefully and shook her head from side to side. In spite of looking like an incensed bull in heels, this had the desired affect on the fly. It flew off and found a new landing site on the full length mirror.
There was movement outside her door. Heavy breathing. Oh dear Lord! The lady was right there. She felt sick and her right forearm was itching like crazy. She held her breath, her heart hammering in her ears. She could just see the woman's feet outside her door, then, suddenly, the woman spun on her heel and crashed into the fitting room right next to Mary's. She took advantage of the reprieve to scratch her right forearm with her left hand. Removing her hand from the shoe, she scratched furiously. To the casual observer, it would appear as though she were simply scratching one calve with the toes of her other foot. A very thin foot. A very thin foot with the longest toes known to mankind! Toes badly in need of a pedicure. Toes with a wedding ring! Mercy! She had forgotten to remove her wedding ring! Oh well, some people wear toe rings she comforted herself.
The whole situation would have been hilarious of not for the fact that her life was in imminent danger. And when her husband found out about this, he was going to..................Sssshhhhh, she was right outside the door again. "I know you two are in there!" The lady hissed through the slats in the door. Mary smiled and would have pumped her fist in victory, had she been able to do so. She had done it! She had convinced the food court lady that there were two of them in the dressing room. "I'm coming in and I want your hands where I can see them!"
This presented a whole new set of problems. What to do with her hands? The door crashed back on its hinges with such force, it hurled Mary into the mirror. She feared it would shatter. Making contact with the mirror, Mary simultaneously threw both hands in the air, above her head, pumps still firmly in place. The food court lady slammed the dressing room door closed behind her, turned and leaned her forehead against it, sucking in great gulps of air. Mary stood still as stone, paralyzed by fear.
The lady seemed to gather herself, turn and slump against the door, head back, eyes closed. Mary stood stock still, mesmerized by the ladies rapidly beating pulse at her throat. She passed a hand over her eyes, took a deep breath and looked at Mary for the first time since invading the dressing room. Her eyes went wide with shock at what she saw. Beginning at Mary's feet, food court ladies eyes traveled up slowly, stopping at Mary's hands, still wearing the pumps.
She busted out laughing. Bending over at the waist, she slapped her knee and laughed hysterically. She laughed until tears streamed from her eyes. Mary didn't know what to make of this shift in the woman's emotion. Mary slowly lowered her arms, crossing them across her chest, hung them at her side, to eventually clasp them in front of her as if in prayer. At this, the woman laughed harder and pointed at Mary's pump clad hands. Frustrated and angry, Mary planted both hands on her hips. This dropped the woman flat on her back as she laughed hysterically, fists beating the floor. Realizing how ridiculous she looked, Mary quickly removed the shoes from her hands and dropped them to the floor.
This seemed to snap the woman out of her hilarity and just as suddenly as she had begun to laugh, she began to sob. She walked over and dropped to the small bench in the dressing room. The poor thing was not only badly in need of a pedicure, she clearly had split personality syndrome as well. Moved with compassion, Mary sat down next to the woman, placing an arm around her shoulders. "What's your name?" Mary asked tentatively. The lady hiccuped and swiped an arm across her nose. "Heather." The woman responded so softly, Mary feared she had misunderstood. "Heather?" Mary probed. "Yeah, Heather." The lady answered. "Here let me get you a tissue." Mary said as she turned to rummage in her handbag. An ominous "click" shattered the silence as Mary felt cold steel press into her lower back.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Mall Ministry Mayhem - Part 5
The handheld scanner came down hard on Bonnie's forehead. Her glasses slid off her nose as a trickle of blood ran down her forehead and into her eyes. Mary watched in horror as Bonnie slid down the counter and slumped to the floor, unconscious. Oh God! Don't let her be dead! Was all Mary could think of at that moment. The food court lady knelt down beside Bonnie. Mary's heart leapt within her. Maybe she was going to help Bonnie, or maybe she was going to finish her off! The food court lady stood abruptly with Bonnie's keys in her hand and proceeded to try the keys in an attempt to open the register. At that point, Mary knew they were dealing with a desperate person who would just as soon kill or injure someone to get what they wanted. She must hide!! But where?
The dressing rooms! They were just around the corner, if she could only get there undetected. She began to inch her way toward the dressing rooms. She made it to a chair, crouched behind it, and then realized she was smack dab in front of a three way mirror. The food court lady only had to glance in that direction to see not one of Mary, but three! Oh Lord, she backed away, back to where she had started. The lady had now managed to open the cash register and was busy stuffing money into her pockets. Mary swallowed and decided this was it, her one chance, she had to go for it! She crawled as fast as she could stopping to catch her breath and hide behind displays when she could. The food court lady was still retrieving money from the cash register as Mary made it to the corner. Just around the bend were the dressing rooms. She would get to their safety and make a 911 phone call for help.
Oh no! Her purse and shoes were still out there under the rounder. She had to get them. She would have no means of communication if she didn't get to her phone. It meant her life. Watching the lady from the corner of her eye, she stealthily made it back to the rounder, crawled inside and grabbed her purse and bag. She looped her purse over her neck and secured the Baker's Shoes bag between her teeth. She crawled, more slowly this time in an attempt to quiet the crinkling sound of the Baker's bag. She knew exactly where she was going though, and made it to the dressing rooms just as the food court lady slammed the register drawer shut and turned.
Mary found an area where she could observe the thief and and not be detected. The lady bent down and checked Bonnie's pulse. Mary began to weep for sweet Bonnie and pray that she was still alive. Seemingly satisfied with her findings, the lady began to remove Bonnie's jewelry and rummage through her pockets. Mary clenched her fists in anger and frustration, but decided she had better look after her own safety and she deftly made her way to the handicapped fitting room at the end of the hall. She had just sat down on the bench to relieve herself of her purse and bag when her cell phone rang, piercing the silence.
Her ringtone was deafening. Tye Tribbett belted out "I Want It All Back" from the confines of her purse. Her husband and kids had teased her when she had chosen the rousing song as her ringtone, and now, sitting in a dressing room hiding from a dangerous thief, it seemed comically fitting. The food court lady would surely hear and know that someone was in the dressing rooms. "Whose there?" Mary heard the food court lady call. Mary held her cell phone with shaking fingers and dialed 911, then pressed send. "No service" illuminated the screen. She groaned inwardly. She had always had a problem getting service in this dressing room and she needed it now more than ever! She checked her caller ID to see who had attempted to call moments ago. The number that appeared was her husband's. Her eyes filled with tears as she wondered if she would ever see him again, hold him again?
"I said whose in there?" screamed the lady, closer now to the dressing rooms hall. Oh God! What should I do? Then, an idea began to form in Mary's mind. What if the lady thought there were two people in the dressing room? Would she be as bold and aggressive if she thought she were outnumbered? Acting swiftly and quietly, Mary removed her new shoes from the bag and then from the shoebox. She slipped a shoe on each hand and then walked over to the dressing room door. There was approximately eight inches from the floor to the bottom of the door, allowing an onlooker a view of an occupant's feet. She bent at the waist, placing her hands, wearing the shoes on the floor in front of her feet. To the casual observer, it would look as though two people were standing very close to one another.
Her breathing was shallow and her heart nearly erupted from her chest as she listened to the lady kicking open the doors to the other dressing rooms looking for inhabitants. "I know there's someone in here! I WILL find you!" Mary squeezed her eyes shut and prayed. Her arms began to quiver and her hip joints were stretched to the limit. She should have joined the yoga class when she had the chance, she thought in dismay. The lady was just a few doors down now, Mary could actually hear her breathing.
Mary opened her eyes to realize that she had forgotten to remove her watch from her left wrist. Oh dear Lord, who in the world wears a watch on their ankle? She hurriedly removed her right hand from her shoe and worked the clasp on the watch to remove it. It would not disengage! To save her life she could not remove the thing! Just then, the adjacent dressing room door flew open and she had to settle on rotating the watch face out of sight, in essence, it appeared as though she were wearing an ankle bracelet. That will have to do, Mary thought as rivulets of sweat ran into her eyes. This position was becoming harder and harder to maintain.
The dressing rooms! They were just around the corner, if she could only get there undetected. She began to inch her way toward the dressing rooms. She made it to a chair, crouched behind it, and then realized she was smack dab in front of a three way mirror. The food court lady only had to glance in that direction to see not one of Mary, but three! Oh Lord, she backed away, back to where she had started. The lady had now managed to open the cash register and was busy stuffing money into her pockets. Mary swallowed and decided this was it, her one chance, she had to go for it! She crawled as fast as she could stopping to catch her breath and hide behind displays when she could. The food court lady was still retrieving money from the cash register as Mary made it to the corner. Just around the bend were the dressing rooms. She would get to their safety and make a 911 phone call for help.
Oh no! Her purse and shoes were still out there under the rounder. She had to get them. She would have no means of communication if she didn't get to her phone. It meant her life. Watching the lady from the corner of her eye, she stealthily made it back to the rounder, crawled inside and grabbed her purse and bag. She looped her purse over her neck and secured the Baker's Shoes bag between her teeth. She crawled, more slowly this time in an attempt to quiet the crinkling sound of the Baker's bag. She knew exactly where she was going though, and made it to the dressing rooms just as the food court lady slammed the register drawer shut and turned.
Mary found an area where she could observe the thief and and not be detected. The lady bent down and checked Bonnie's pulse. Mary began to weep for sweet Bonnie and pray that she was still alive. Seemingly satisfied with her findings, the lady began to remove Bonnie's jewelry and rummage through her pockets. Mary clenched her fists in anger and frustration, but decided she had better look after her own safety and she deftly made her way to the handicapped fitting room at the end of the hall. She had just sat down on the bench to relieve herself of her purse and bag when her cell phone rang, piercing the silence.
Her ringtone was deafening. Tye Tribbett belted out "I Want It All Back" from the confines of her purse. Her husband and kids had teased her when she had chosen the rousing song as her ringtone, and now, sitting in a dressing room hiding from a dangerous thief, it seemed comically fitting. The food court lady would surely hear and know that someone was in the dressing rooms. "Whose there?" Mary heard the food court lady call. Mary held her cell phone with shaking fingers and dialed 911, then pressed send. "No service" illuminated the screen. She groaned inwardly. She had always had a problem getting service in this dressing room and she needed it now more than ever! She checked her caller ID to see who had attempted to call moments ago. The number that appeared was her husband's. Her eyes filled with tears as she wondered if she would ever see him again, hold him again?
"I said whose in there?" screamed the lady, closer now to the dressing rooms hall. Oh God! What should I do? Then, an idea began to form in Mary's mind. What if the lady thought there were two people in the dressing room? Would she be as bold and aggressive if she thought she were outnumbered? Acting swiftly and quietly, Mary removed her new shoes from the bag and then from the shoebox. She slipped a shoe on each hand and then walked over to the dressing room door. There was approximately eight inches from the floor to the bottom of the door, allowing an onlooker a view of an occupant's feet. She bent at the waist, placing her hands, wearing the shoes on the floor in front of her feet. To the casual observer, it would look as though two people were standing very close to one another.
Her breathing was shallow and her heart nearly erupted from her chest as she listened to the lady kicking open the doors to the other dressing rooms looking for inhabitants. "I know there's someone in here! I WILL find you!" Mary squeezed her eyes shut and prayed. Her arms began to quiver and her hip joints were stretched to the limit. She should have joined the yoga class when she had the chance, she thought in dismay. The lady was just a few doors down now, Mary could actually hear her breathing.
Mary opened her eyes to realize that she had forgotten to remove her watch from her left wrist. Oh dear Lord, who in the world wears a watch on their ankle? She hurriedly removed her right hand from her shoe and worked the clasp on the watch to remove it. It would not disengage! To save her life she could not remove the thing! Just then, the adjacent dressing room door flew open and she had to settle on rotating the watch face out of sight, in essence, it appeared as though she were wearing an ankle bracelet. That will have to do, Mary thought as rivulets of sweat ran into her eyes. This position was becoming harder and harder to maintain.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Mall Ministry Mayhem - Part 4
Wow! What a sale! Mary was in heaven as she browsed among the many rounders heavily laden with sale items. Thirty percent off, fifty percent off, seventy five percent off and even fifty percent off of the already marked down clearance items! "May I help you?" Mary was admiring a lovely wedge wood blue suit with pencil skirt and bell sleeves when the sales attendant approached. Turning, she faced an older woman with gray hair cut in a "bob" style. Reading glasses were perched on the end of her nose and attached to a beaded chain which looped around her neck. She was smartly dressed in a tweed suit, feet shod with a pair of elegant leather flats. "Oh hi." Mary extended her hand. "I don't believe I've ever met you, are you new?" The lady grinned and replied, "Yes, this is my first day." She pointed to her name tag on her lapel and said, "My name is Bonnie, and you are?" Mary extended her hand n friendship. "I'm Mary. I'm usually here a couple of times a week. I look forward to a long and lasting relationship with you." Bonnie laughed as she grasped Mary's hand warmly, smiling a radiant smile revealing a set of startlingly white teeth.
"Can I begin a room for you?" "That would be great!" Mary replied in relief as she handed over her armload of clothes. "There is one more rounder I want to look through and then I'll be ready." "Take your time!" Bonnie called over her shoulder as she headed toward the fitting rooms.
Ooooohhhhh.......This rack had a lot of goodies on it. Mary thought as she loaded up her arms for the second time. Her purse, and the Baker's bag holding her new shoes were becoming heavier and heavier the longer she shopped. In an attempt to transfer her purse and bag to her other arm, a gauzy, delicate floral print blouse she had chosen slipped from the hanger and fell to the floor. She tried bending at the waist to retrieve it, but the clothes she had collected impeded her mobility. She stuck her foot under the rounder in an effort to pull the blouse out that way, with little success. Rats! She really wanted that blouse. It would go perfectly with the shoes, if she could only reach it! She looked around for Bonnie and spotted her across the floor helping two other women. There were no other clerks in sight.
Extreme circumstances call for extreme measures, Mary muttered to herself as she dropped to all fours to retrieve the blouse. Extending her arms as far as she could, she grasped the sleeve and tugged, but it was anchored fast and would not budge. What in the world? She burrowed under the hems of skirts, dresses, jackets and blouses for a better view, but soon realized this position was an entirely unflattering one. Glancing over her shoulder to check on her purse and shoes, she sighed in resignation and crawled the rest of the way into the hanging clothes. She was now completely enveloped under the canopy of clothes, obscured from view by those in the store. She sat down, cross legged to investigate the problem with the blouse. Aaaahhh, a thread on the sleeve was hooked to the button of a skirt. She settled in, keeping an eye on her purse and package as she worked to free the blouse from the skirt.
Movement and a rustling noise caught her attention. Oh no, someone was browsing the clothes on the rounder! She sat perfectly still, paralyzed as she visualized being discovered. How would she explain herself? How embarrassing! The customer was headed toward where her purse and Baker's bag lay! She inched over as quietly as possible and in one deft movement, dragged the purse and bag under the rounder with a sweep of her arm. Whew, that was close! She inched back toward the imprisoned blouse and quietly worked at the button, determined to set the blouse free, after all, it would go just perfectly with those shoes!
She prayed the customer would move on quickly, she almost had the blouse free! Hangers slid across the rounder to her right. Oh goodness, the lady was almost on top of her. She knew it was a lady, for she could just make out the tips of her shoes. Open toe sandals that had seen better days encased dirty and uncared for feet. This lady desperately needed to be introduced to a pedicure! There was something vaguely familiar however about those shoes and feet! Where had she seen them? In the food court! It was the food court lady!
She couldn't help herself, she parted a drab dress the a ghastly floral polyester suit to get a better look. It was the food court lady alright. A sheen of moisture covered the woman's brow and upper lip, her breathing rapid. She could use a good waxing as well, Mary thought as she continued to observe the woman unnoticed. Transfixed, Mary watched as diamonds glinted off of watch faces, bracelets, necklaces, earrings and brooches as they were scooped from the woman's pockets to a ratty old knapsack. So that's why she was loitering around the jewelry counter.........She was a thief!
Realizing the precarious position she was in, Mary gasped, the lovely blouse all but forgotten. A loud raking noise sent chills down Mary's spine as metal scraped against metal as hangers were thrust aside on the rounder. As Moses parted the waters, in like fashion, this frightening woman parted the clothes, revealing Mary cross legged on the floor, mouth agape in astonishment. The woman's eyes grew round in fear and panic. She stretched forth a filthy, claw like hand in Mary's direction. At that precise moment, a commanding voice came over the department store's intercom system. "Attention all Dillard's employees and customers. There has been a major breach in security and theft has occurred. Please congregate in the Customer Service area as the store has now gone into "lockdown" mode. Please remain calm, security has infiltrated the store and your safety is of utmost concern. We repeat, all Dillard's customer and employees should report to Customer Service immediately!"
The woman looked frantically over her shoulder and Mary saw this as her opportunity to escape. She crawled on hands and knees to the opposite side of the rounder and plowed right through the clothes. Her hair caught on a button, eyes tearing as she left several strands of her glory, root and all, behind. She crawled, double time, to an adjacent rounder as the food court lady scanned the department for security. After securing her heavily laden knapsack to her back, the woman peered into the rounder, apparently looking for Mary. Upon the realization that Mary was gone, the lady cursed loudly and ran to the register. She jabbed at buttons randomly in an attempt to open the register. At that moment, Bonnie came around the corner. "Hey! What are you doing? Get away from there!" Bonnie ran up behind the lady and lay hold on her shoulder.
"Can I begin a room for you?" "That would be great!" Mary replied in relief as she handed over her armload of clothes. "There is one more rounder I want to look through and then I'll be ready." "Take your time!" Bonnie called over her shoulder as she headed toward the fitting rooms.
Ooooohhhhh.......This rack had a lot of goodies on it. Mary thought as she loaded up her arms for the second time. Her purse, and the Baker's bag holding her new shoes were becoming heavier and heavier the longer she shopped. In an attempt to transfer her purse and bag to her other arm, a gauzy, delicate floral print blouse she had chosen slipped from the hanger and fell to the floor. She tried bending at the waist to retrieve it, but the clothes she had collected impeded her mobility. She stuck her foot under the rounder in an effort to pull the blouse out that way, with little success. Rats! She really wanted that blouse. It would go perfectly with the shoes, if she could only reach it! She looked around for Bonnie and spotted her across the floor helping two other women. There were no other clerks in sight.
Extreme circumstances call for extreme measures, Mary muttered to herself as she dropped to all fours to retrieve the blouse. Extending her arms as far as she could, she grasped the sleeve and tugged, but it was anchored fast and would not budge. What in the world? She burrowed under the hems of skirts, dresses, jackets and blouses for a better view, but soon realized this position was an entirely unflattering one. Glancing over her shoulder to check on her purse and shoes, she sighed in resignation and crawled the rest of the way into the hanging clothes. She was now completely enveloped under the canopy of clothes, obscured from view by those in the store. She sat down, cross legged to investigate the problem with the blouse. Aaaahhh, a thread on the sleeve was hooked to the button of a skirt. She settled in, keeping an eye on her purse and package as she worked to free the blouse from the skirt.
Movement and a rustling noise caught her attention. Oh no, someone was browsing the clothes on the rounder! She sat perfectly still, paralyzed as she visualized being discovered. How would she explain herself? How embarrassing! The customer was headed toward where her purse and Baker's bag lay! She inched over as quietly as possible and in one deft movement, dragged the purse and bag under the rounder with a sweep of her arm. Whew, that was close! She inched back toward the imprisoned blouse and quietly worked at the button, determined to set the blouse free, after all, it would go just perfectly with those shoes!
She prayed the customer would move on quickly, she almost had the blouse free! Hangers slid across the rounder to her right. Oh goodness, the lady was almost on top of her. She knew it was a lady, for she could just make out the tips of her shoes. Open toe sandals that had seen better days encased dirty and uncared for feet. This lady desperately needed to be introduced to a pedicure! There was something vaguely familiar however about those shoes and feet! Where had she seen them? In the food court! It was the food court lady!
She couldn't help herself, she parted a drab dress the a ghastly floral polyester suit to get a better look. It was the food court lady alright. A sheen of moisture covered the woman's brow and upper lip, her breathing rapid. She could use a good waxing as well, Mary thought as she continued to observe the woman unnoticed. Transfixed, Mary watched as diamonds glinted off of watch faces, bracelets, necklaces, earrings and brooches as they were scooped from the woman's pockets to a ratty old knapsack. So that's why she was loitering around the jewelry counter.........She was a thief!
Realizing the precarious position she was in, Mary gasped, the lovely blouse all but forgotten. A loud raking noise sent chills down Mary's spine as metal scraped against metal as hangers were thrust aside on the rounder. As Moses parted the waters, in like fashion, this frightening woman parted the clothes, revealing Mary cross legged on the floor, mouth agape in astonishment. The woman's eyes grew round in fear and panic. She stretched forth a filthy, claw like hand in Mary's direction. At that precise moment, a commanding voice came over the department store's intercom system. "Attention all Dillard's employees and customers. There has been a major breach in security and theft has occurred. Please congregate in the Customer Service area as the store has now gone into "lockdown" mode. Please remain calm, security has infiltrated the store and your safety is of utmost concern. We repeat, all Dillard's customer and employees should report to Customer Service immediately!"
The woman looked frantically over her shoulder and Mary saw this as her opportunity to escape. She crawled on hands and knees to the opposite side of the rounder and plowed right through the clothes. Her hair caught on a button, eyes tearing as she left several strands of her glory, root and all, behind. She crawled, double time, to an adjacent rounder as the food court lady scanned the department for security. After securing her heavily laden knapsack to her back, the woman peered into the rounder, apparently looking for Mary. Upon the realization that Mary was gone, the lady cursed loudly and ran to the register. She jabbed at buttons randomly in an attempt to open the register. At that moment, Bonnie came around the corner. "Hey! What are you doing? Get away from there!" Bonnie ran up behind the lady and lay hold on her shoulder.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Mall Ministry Mayhem - Part 3
It was cheap paper. Lined, and appeared as though it had been hastily pulled from a spiral bound notepad. Something dropped out of the wad and rolled across the table. She grabbed for it. What was it? A ring. A very simple plain gold band. As she inspected it, she realized it was a very inexpensive piece of jewelry, a simple wedding band. Surely, whoever had worn this had a green, left hand ring finger. She slipped it onto her the end of her thumb and read the note.
"I give up! How has my life come to this point? My marriage is over, my children have been taken. I have nothing left to live for, except for the drug. I cannot face the day without the drug. It has stolen my life by becoming my life. If there is a God, why has He forsaken me? I don't believe in Him anymore. I am desperate! Desperate and miserable. I give up!!"
It had been penned with a shaking hand. There were no misspelled words which indicated it had been written by an intelligent individual. Could this have been left by the woman who had been sitting at this table only a short time ago? There was nothing in the note to specify gender. It could have been written by a man or a woman. However, the ring inside was small. But that didn't indicate much. It could have been written by a woman who had angrily removed her wedding ring, or, by a man whose estranged wife had returned her wedding ring to him in anger. Who knew? She sighed with a heavy heart, burdened for the author of this cryptic note and, folded it and put both it and the ring into a zip pocket of her purse.
She just couldn't get back into her exercise, so, she decided a little "retail therapy" was in order. Shopping was a tonic to her soul. All of the lovely fabrics and colors served to lift her spirits. She strolled past Bakers Shoes, but stopped in her tracks and turned back to admire a lovely pair of pale, dove gray, leather pumps. Elegantly displayed upon a marble roman column, they virtually screamed out to her from the shop window. She went inside.
"Hi Tasha!" She called to the lovely African American sales clerk. "Hey girlfriend, how you doin? Let me guess......you want to try a size eight in those gray pumps? I knew you couldn't resist those when I put 'em on display this morning." Laughing Mary replied. "Oh Tasha, I need something for Easter. And those look just like what the Doctor ordered!" She sat down on the trendy little leather couch while Tasha retrieved the shoes.
Ah she predicted, the shoes were a perfect fit. She stood and walked around the store in them, wiggling her toes. She approached a small mirror set up on the floor, and pivoted her foot this way and that to assure herself that they looked absolutely marvelous on her feet. And they did! With a satisfied sigh, she sat back down on the couch and removed the shoes to replace them in the shoebox.
While a clerk, with whom Mary was unacquainted rung up her purchase, Tasha disappeared into the back room and returned carrying a beautiful, dove gray Guess bag. "Mary." She sing-songed as she held the bag aloft, jiggling it slightly for affect. "Oh, it's just gorgeous! And it was made for these shoes, but I just can't!" Mary said dejectedly. "I have a bag at home that will go okay. But I do need to find a new outfit ot go with these shoes." Mary replied with a smile. "Whatever you say." Tasha said shaking her head as though Mary had just made a very bad mistake. Mary laughed. "Thanks Tasha, you drive a hard bargain." Tasha grinned. "See you next week Mary." "Until then!" Mary called as she took her new shoes and left the store.
Headed towards Dillards with purpose, Mary anticipated what she might find to match her lovely new shoes. Perhaps a beautifully tailored suit, or a pencil skirt with a light and flowing blouse. Maybe a dress? She entered the department store and stopped to admire some lovely scarves adjacent to the perfume and jewelry counters. She fingered their silky softness and held one in particular up next to the shoes. It was a perfect match! Maybe she would make her husband happy and just settle for a new scarf and skip the outfit. She sighed undecidedly and strolled over to the perfume counter to sample some of the latest scents.
As she walked away, headed for the escalator, she glanced in the direction of the watches and saw a familiar form. It was the lady from the food court. She seemed to be hovering around the jewelry counter. She appeared to be browsing, but then again, not. She seemed anxious and a light sheen of sweat beaded her upper lip. Holding her hands in front of her, she nervously rubbed the pinky of one hand with the thumb and forefinger of the other.
Mary, making a pretense of looking at the watches, observed the woman closely. "May I show you something?" Mary practically jumped out of her skin as the saleswoman approached her with a smile. "Aaahhh, no thank you, I'm just looking." Mary answered. "Take your time." The clerk smiled at Mary as she leaned against the counter. Mary thanked the woman and browsed a while longer, trying to act natural before making her escape to the upper level and the ladies fashions, away from the disturbing "food court" lady.
"I give up! How has my life come to this point? My marriage is over, my children have been taken. I have nothing left to live for, except for the drug. I cannot face the day without the drug. It has stolen my life by becoming my life. If there is a God, why has He forsaken me? I don't believe in Him anymore. I am desperate! Desperate and miserable. I give up!!"
It had been penned with a shaking hand. There were no misspelled words which indicated it had been written by an intelligent individual. Could this have been left by the woman who had been sitting at this table only a short time ago? There was nothing in the note to specify gender. It could have been written by a man or a woman. However, the ring inside was small. But that didn't indicate much. It could have been written by a woman who had angrily removed her wedding ring, or, by a man whose estranged wife had returned her wedding ring to him in anger. Who knew? She sighed with a heavy heart, burdened for the author of this cryptic note and, folded it and put both it and the ring into a zip pocket of her purse.
She just couldn't get back into her exercise, so, she decided a little "retail therapy" was in order. Shopping was a tonic to her soul. All of the lovely fabrics and colors served to lift her spirits. She strolled past Bakers Shoes, but stopped in her tracks and turned back to admire a lovely pair of pale, dove gray, leather pumps. Elegantly displayed upon a marble roman column, they virtually screamed out to her from the shop window. She went inside.
"Hi Tasha!" She called to the lovely African American sales clerk. "Hey girlfriend, how you doin? Let me guess......you want to try a size eight in those gray pumps? I knew you couldn't resist those when I put 'em on display this morning." Laughing Mary replied. "Oh Tasha, I need something for Easter. And those look just like what the Doctor ordered!" She sat down on the trendy little leather couch while Tasha retrieved the shoes.
Ah she predicted, the shoes were a perfect fit. She stood and walked around the store in them, wiggling her toes. She approached a small mirror set up on the floor, and pivoted her foot this way and that to assure herself that they looked absolutely marvelous on her feet. And they did! With a satisfied sigh, she sat back down on the couch and removed the shoes to replace them in the shoebox.
While a clerk, with whom Mary was unacquainted rung up her purchase, Tasha disappeared into the back room and returned carrying a beautiful, dove gray Guess bag. "Mary." She sing-songed as she held the bag aloft, jiggling it slightly for affect. "Oh, it's just gorgeous! And it was made for these shoes, but I just can't!" Mary said dejectedly. "I have a bag at home that will go okay. But I do need to find a new outfit ot go with these shoes." Mary replied with a smile. "Whatever you say." Tasha said shaking her head as though Mary had just made a very bad mistake. Mary laughed. "Thanks Tasha, you drive a hard bargain." Tasha grinned. "See you next week Mary." "Until then!" Mary called as she took her new shoes and left the store.
Headed towards Dillards with purpose, Mary anticipated what she might find to match her lovely new shoes. Perhaps a beautifully tailored suit, or a pencil skirt with a light and flowing blouse. Maybe a dress? She entered the department store and stopped to admire some lovely scarves adjacent to the perfume and jewelry counters. She fingered their silky softness and held one in particular up next to the shoes. It was a perfect match! Maybe she would make her husband happy and just settle for a new scarf and skip the outfit. She sighed undecidedly and strolled over to the perfume counter to sample some of the latest scents.
As she walked away, headed for the escalator, she glanced in the direction of the watches and saw a familiar form. It was the lady from the food court. She seemed to be hovering around the jewelry counter. She appeared to be browsing, but then again, not. She seemed anxious and a light sheen of sweat beaded her upper lip. Holding her hands in front of her, she nervously rubbed the pinky of one hand with the thumb and forefinger of the other.
Mary, making a pretense of looking at the watches, observed the woman closely. "May I show you something?" Mary practically jumped out of her skin as the saleswoman approached her with a smile. "Aaahhh, no thank you, I'm just looking." Mary answered. "Take your time." The clerk smiled at Mary as she leaned against the counter. Mary thanked the woman and browsed a while longer, trying to act natural before making her escape to the upper level and the ladies fashions, away from the disturbing "food court" lady.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Mall Ministry Mayhem - Part 2
Pulling into the parking lot of the mall Mary headed towards Dillard's. Wow! Huge crowds here today she observed. Must be the Easter rush. The crowd however, did not intimidate Mary. She drove single mindedly down the lanes until she reached one parking spot smack dab in front of the doors to the shoe department. There, perched on a steel post was a sign. Gold with black letters, it heralded, "Mary Martha Magnum, Valued Customer." Her very own parking spot! And why shouldn't she have one? She alone had saved Dillard's from bankruptcy a few years back during their storewide "blowout sale." In their appreciation of her, their most loyal customer, they had presented her with her very own reserved parking spot.
Disengaging her seatbelt and grabbing her purse, Mary was startled at a tap on her window. It was only Frank, the landscape maintenance guy. "Good morning Mary!" he said as he opened her car door for her. "Hello Frank, how are things going for you today? "Pretty good." He answered as he mopped his forehead and took a long pull from a bottle of water. "You're here early today." He observed. "I'm here to exercise and do a little shopping for Easter, which reminds me"...... Mary leaned over and retrieved a flyer from her glove compartment. "I would love to have you and your wife attend our church Easter presentation." She said placing the pastel lavender piece of paper in his hand. Deciding she may need some while in the mall, she stuffed a few more into her purse. "This looks real good." Frank remarked as he folded the flyer in half and placed it in his shirt pocket. "I'll talk to Rosie about it, I don't know what she has planned for that day." Sounds good Frank, we'd love to have you." She said as she closed and locked the car door with an electronic chirp. Frank was already heading back to his leaf blower.
Entering the mall, she made a beeline for Paradise Bakery. Her mouth watered at the thought of their delicious muffins and coffee. She would have a quick snack and then begin her exercise regimen.
"Good morning Stacy!" Mary greeted the young lady behind the counter. Petite and blonde, Stacy had her hair pulled up into a perky ponytail. Beautiful blue eyes peered at Mary from behind trendy little wire framed glasses. Stacy was a student working to pay her way through college and she waited on Mary several times a week. "Your usual?" She inquired of Mary. "Oh yes, you know me too well Stacy." Mary responded with a giggle. Stacy giggled as well as she handed Mary a lemon poppyseed muffin and a cup of coffee, rung her up and handed Mary her change. "See you later Stacy." Mary smiled and waved as she made her way towards the food court seating area. "Have a good exercise!" Stacy called as she turned to wait on the next customer.
Finding a seat in an obscure corner, Mary enjoyed her muffin and coffee and people watched, something she enjoyed doing on occasion. You could glean a lot of information about people by just sitting in a mall food court. She spied a mom pulling her two Easter finery clad children along behind her, obviously headed towards Sears portrait studio, another young girl talked on her cellphone with a garment bag slung over her shoulder. Mary could just make out the hem of a wedding dress peeking from the bottom of the bag. Several senior citizens lounged in the food court sipping on cups of coffee, while a group of tattooed and pierced young people passed by with Starbuck's cups in their hands.
Movement at a table to her right caught Mary's attention and she glanced in that direction. A young woman in her early to mid thirties sat down wearily in a chair. To say she was shabbily dressed would be an overstatement, however, her clothes were definitely worn and second hand. Her face and hands had a weary, work worn appearance, but the sadness in her eyes is what caught Mary's attention and evoked pity for the young woman. She tried not to stare as the woman put her head in her trembling hands. Her shoulders heaved as though she were weeping. Mary felt a surge of emotion and quelled the desire to walk over to the woman and smooth the hair back from her forehead as one would a child.
Mary looked at her watch and gasped. Goodness! It was already 11:30 and she hadn't even begun walking!" She pushed all thoughts of the woman aside and popped the last morsel of delicious lemony goodness into her mouth, swallowed a gulp of lukewarm coffee and tossed the trash. With one last glance at the woman, Mary headed in the opposite direction.
Her arms pumped as she walked briskly around the upper level of the mall. Sprinting down the escalator steps, she was pleased to feel a light sheen of perspiration break out on her forehead. Good, her heart rate was rising. She walked the perimeter of the lower level, then, headed back upstairs to the food court area again. She did a quick turn through that area, waving to Herman, the "hot dog maker" at Wiener Schnitzel and called out to Carol, the "sandwich artist" at Subway, then, she veered toward the open areas of the mall.
Winding her way through the food court seating area, she noticed something on the table she had just recently vacated. It was small and black. Her cell phone! Goodness, how had she done that? She rushed over, scooped up the phone placing it into the small purse she had looped around her neck. As she turned to resume her walk, she glanced at the table where the sad lady had been sitting. It was empty now, save for a piece of wadded up paper. What was it? It was barely noticeable and would have been discarded with nary a thought by a janitor or the next person who desired that table. Mary's curiosity got the best of her and she walked over to the table and picked up the paper ball. It was so tightly scrunched, she feared she would tear it in her attempt to open it. She did not know what drove her to open it, not nosiness, but a sense that it held something of importance. She sat down in the chair and smoothed the paper open as delicately as possible.
Disengaging her seatbelt and grabbing her purse, Mary was startled at a tap on her window. It was only Frank, the landscape maintenance guy. "Good morning Mary!" he said as he opened her car door for her. "Hello Frank, how are things going for you today? "Pretty good." He answered as he mopped his forehead and took a long pull from a bottle of water. "You're here early today." He observed. "I'm here to exercise and do a little shopping for Easter, which reminds me"...... Mary leaned over and retrieved a flyer from her glove compartment. "I would love to have you and your wife attend our church Easter presentation." She said placing the pastel lavender piece of paper in his hand. Deciding she may need some while in the mall, she stuffed a few more into her purse. "This looks real good." Frank remarked as he folded the flyer in half and placed it in his shirt pocket. "I'll talk to Rosie about it, I don't know what she has planned for that day." Sounds good Frank, we'd love to have you." She said as she closed and locked the car door with an electronic chirp. Frank was already heading back to his leaf blower.
Entering the mall, she made a beeline for Paradise Bakery. Her mouth watered at the thought of their delicious muffins and coffee. She would have a quick snack and then begin her exercise regimen.
"Good morning Stacy!" Mary greeted the young lady behind the counter. Petite and blonde, Stacy had her hair pulled up into a perky ponytail. Beautiful blue eyes peered at Mary from behind trendy little wire framed glasses. Stacy was a student working to pay her way through college and she waited on Mary several times a week. "Your usual?" She inquired of Mary. "Oh yes, you know me too well Stacy." Mary responded with a giggle. Stacy giggled as well as she handed Mary a lemon poppyseed muffin and a cup of coffee, rung her up and handed Mary her change. "See you later Stacy." Mary smiled and waved as she made her way towards the food court seating area. "Have a good exercise!" Stacy called as she turned to wait on the next customer.
Finding a seat in an obscure corner, Mary enjoyed her muffin and coffee and people watched, something she enjoyed doing on occasion. You could glean a lot of information about people by just sitting in a mall food court. She spied a mom pulling her two Easter finery clad children along behind her, obviously headed towards Sears portrait studio, another young girl talked on her cellphone with a garment bag slung over her shoulder. Mary could just make out the hem of a wedding dress peeking from the bottom of the bag. Several senior citizens lounged in the food court sipping on cups of coffee, while a group of tattooed and pierced young people passed by with Starbuck's cups in their hands.
Movement at a table to her right caught Mary's attention and she glanced in that direction. A young woman in her early to mid thirties sat down wearily in a chair. To say she was shabbily dressed would be an overstatement, however, her clothes were definitely worn and second hand. Her face and hands had a weary, work worn appearance, but the sadness in her eyes is what caught Mary's attention and evoked pity for the young woman. She tried not to stare as the woman put her head in her trembling hands. Her shoulders heaved as though she were weeping. Mary felt a surge of emotion and quelled the desire to walk over to the woman and smooth the hair back from her forehead as one would a child.
Mary looked at her watch and gasped. Goodness! It was already 11:30 and she hadn't even begun walking!" She pushed all thoughts of the woman aside and popped the last morsel of delicious lemony goodness into her mouth, swallowed a gulp of lukewarm coffee and tossed the trash. With one last glance at the woman, Mary headed in the opposite direction.
Her arms pumped as she walked briskly around the upper level of the mall. Sprinting down the escalator steps, she was pleased to feel a light sheen of perspiration break out on her forehead. Good, her heart rate was rising. She walked the perimeter of the lower level, then, headed back upstairs to the food court area again. She did a quick turn through that area, waving to Herman, the "hot dog maker" at Wiener Schnitzel and called out to Carol, the "sandwich artist" at Subway, then, she veered toward the open areas of the mall.
Winding her way through the food court seating area, she noticed something on the table she had just recently vacated. It was small and black. Her cell phone! Goodness, how had she done that? She rushed over, scooped up the phone placing it into the small purse she had looped around her neck. As she turned to resume her walk, she glanced at the table where the sad lady had been sitting. It was empty now, save for a piece of wadded up paper. What was it? It was barely noticeable and would have been discarded with nary a thought by a janitor or the next person who desired that table. Mary's curiosity got the best of her and she walked over to the table and picked up the paper ball. It was so tightly scrunched, she feared she would tear it in her attempt to open it. She did not know what drove her to open it, not nosiness, but a sense that it held something of importance. She sat down in the chair and smoothed the paper open as delicately as possible.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Mall Ministry Mayhem - Part 1
March
"Do you need me to pick anything up for you from the mall today hon?" Mary asked her husband as they sipped their second cups of coffee on the back porch. Mary wriggled her bare toes in the sun, enjoying its warmth and and the new blossoms on the trees. He peered at her over the top of the newspaper he was reading, glasses perched low on his nose. "You're going to the mall? Why I've never heard of such a thing!" He responded in mock disbelief. Mary stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh shush! You know I go there every week to exercise and hand out tracks. If I walk the entire mall twice, I get a good two mile workout!" "And just how many times do you cease your "workout" to shop?" He asked grinning, already knowing the answer. "Well, I can't help it if the window dressings call out to me, just begging me to come inside and browse!" She replied, hand on hip in full drama mode. He harrumphed, shook out his newspaper with a sharp "snap" and went back to the sports page.
Their caramel colored cat chose that precise moment to jump up onto her lap, sniffing at her coffee, whiskers twitching. Mary scratched him under his chin and he promptly flipped over onto his back, allowing her access to his belly. "Shakespeare, daddy doesn't want me to go to the mall to evangelize the masses. Why, doesn't the scripture instruct to go into the highways and byways and compel them to come? And the mall IS just off the highway!" Mary gave her husband a sidelong glance from the corner of her eye. Shakespeare stretched and gave a great yawn, thoroughly bored with the line of conversation. Snickering, Mary's husband folded his newspaper, stood and kissed Mary soundly on the forehead. "Go "evangelize" and "exercise." Just don't break the bank while you're at it." And with that, he was off to the office.
After just one more cup of liquid energy, Mary nudged Shakespeare off of her lap and padded into the kitchen to rinse her cup. She found their three children, Hannah, Natalie and Ethan scrounging around for bowls, spoons and cereal boxes. They all sported matching t-shirts with "Call on Jesus, H'es off the hook!" printed across the front. It had taken their church youth group weeks of brain storming to come up with that clever little prose to have printed on t-shirts. "Hey mom, do you have any old towels we can use today?" Ethan asked with his mouth full of Alphabits cereal. Today was the youth car wash! She had almost forgotten!
"Yes, there's some old ones in the garage, and don't talk with your mouth full." They all looked so adorable! The twins had paired their t-shirts with matching jean skirts, while still allowing their individual styles to shine. Hannah, Miss Priss, wore rhinestone embellished flip flops. Her hair was perfectly coiffed, every curl intricately placed. She spooned cereal delicately into her mouth with one hand whilst deftly texting with the other. Natalie, miss life of the party, high energy, sported pigtails and fashionable tennis shoes with ankle socks. She hummed loudly, if slightly off key, to the I-pod earphones firmly ensconced in both ears. Ethan wore jeans, Vans and had tried his hand at a failed attempt at a "Pentecostal Mohawk." Mary did a double take, opened the linen closet, retrieved a ball cap and slapped it on his head. "Nice try Ethan." she said and planted a kiss on his forehead. "Aahhh mom!" He grumbled with a "B" nestled firmly in the corner of his mouth.
"I'll have my cell if you need me! I'll be at the mall!" She hollered and waved as the passenger van driven by their Youth Director whisked the kids off to the car wash. Now, she thought in anticipation, the mall! Just maybe I can pick up a little something new to wear on Easter. She hurriedly dressed in comfortable clothes, careful to wear a button down shirt, which allowed her to try on clothes and still preserve her hairdo. Her "hairdo" today consisted of a side part, brought together into a low ponytail, then, she attempted to tame the stuff into a smooth knot, which proved futile and looked more like a "messy bun." Oh well, messy bun it is! She tried two delicate curls at her temples, but like springs, they insisted on a life of their own. She looked like a billie goat with two stubby horns protruding from the side of her head. She finally gave up and plastered the "horns" down with gel and hairspray. She threw a can of hairspray and a comb into her purse in case of a "hairdo emergency" while at the mall. The entire ensemble was rounded off by a pair of comfortable walking shoes.
Grabbing her keys, she double checked the contents of her purse. Wallet, check. Tracks, check. Hair emergency essentials, check. And then, on a whim, she threw in her compact one day Bible Study chart she had just ordered from PPH. One must be prepared at all times you know. She hopped into her black Volkswagon Passat, complete with tinted windows and lots and lots of chrome. She loved it! It had been a present from her on her 40th birthday. Who said that women couldn't enjoy mid-life crisis as well as men? She programmed the Crabb family into her six CD changer, cranked up the volume and headed for the highway!
"Do you need me to pick anything up for you from the mall today hon?" Mary asked her husband as they sipped their second cups of coffee on the back porch. Mary wriggled her bare toes in the sun, enjoying its warmth and and the new blossoms on the trees. He peered at her over the top of the newspaper he was reading, glasses perched low on his nose. "You're going to the mall? Why I've never heard of such a thing!" He responded in mock disbelief. Mary stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh shush! You know I go there every week to exercise and hand out tracks. If I walk the entire mall twice, I get a good two mile workout!" "And just how many times do you cease your "workout" to shop?" He asked grinning, already knowing the answer. "Well, I can't help it if the window dressings call out to me, just begging me to come inside and browse!" She replied, hand on hip in full drama mode. He harrumphed, shook out his newspaper with a sharp "snap" and went back to the sports page.
Their caramel colored cat chose that precise moment to jump up onto her lap, sniffing at her coffee, whiskers twitching. Mary scratched him under his chin and he promptly flipped over onto his back, allowing her access to his belly. "Shakespeare, daddy doesn't want me to go to the mall to evangelize the masses. Why, doesn't the scripture instruct to go into the highways and byways and compel them to come? And the mall IS just off the highway!" Mary gave her husband a sidelong glance from the corner of her eye. Shakespeare stretched and gave a great yawn, thoroughly bored with the line of conversation. Snickering, Mary's husband folded his newspaper, stood and kissed Mary soundly on the forehead. "Go "evangelize" and "exercise." Just don't break the bank while you're at it." And with that, he was off to the office.
After just one more cup of liquid energy, Mary nudged Shakespeare off of her lap and padded into the kitchen to rinse her cup. She found their three children, Hannah, Natalie and Ethan scrounging around for bowls, spoons and cereal boxes. They all sported matching t-shirts with "Call on Jesus, H'es off the hook!" printed across the front. It had taken their church youth group weeks of brain storming to come up with that clever little prose to have printed on t-shirts. "Hey mom, do you have any old towels we can use today?" Ethan asked with his mouth full of Alphabits cereal. Today was the youth car wash! She had almost forgotten!
"Yes, there's some old ones in the garage, and don't talk with your mouth full." They all looked so adorable! The twins had paired their t-shirts with matching jean skirts, while still allowing their individual styles to shine. Hannah, Miss Priss, wore rhinestone embellished flip flops. Her hair was perfectly coiffed, every curl intricately placed. She spooned cereal delicately into her mouth with one hand whilst deftly texting with the other. Natalie, miss life of the party, high energy, sported pigtails and fashionable tennis shoes with ankle socks. She hummed loudly, if slightly off key, to the I-pod earphones firmly ensconced in both ears. Ethan wore jeans, Vans and had tried his hand at a failed attempt at a "Pentecostal Mohawk." Mary did a double take, opened the linen closet, retrieved a ball cap and slapped it on his head. "Nice try Ethan." she said and planted a kiss on his forehead. "Aahhh mom!" He grumbled with a "B" nestled firmly in the corner of his mouth.
"I'll have my cell if you need me! I'll be at the mall!" She hollered and waved as the passenger van driven by their Youth Director whisked the kids off to the car wash. Now, she thought in anticipation, the mall! Just maybe I can pick up a little something new to wear on Easter. She hurriedly dressed in comfortable clothes, careful to wear a button down shirt, which allowed her to try on clothes and still preserve her hairdo. Her "hairdo" today consisted of a side part, brought together into a low ponytail, then, she attempted to tame the stuff into a smooth knot, which proved futile and looked more like a "messy bun." Oh well, messy bun it is! She tried two delicate curls at her temples, but like springs, they insisted on a life of their own. She looked like a billie goat with two stubby horns protruding from the side of her head. She finally gave up and plastered the "horns" down with gel and hairspray. She threw a can of hairspray and a comb into her purse in case of a "hairdo emergency" while at the mall. The entire ensemble was rounded off by a pair of comfortable walking shoes.
Grabbing her keys, she double checked the contents of her purse. Wallet, check. Tracks, check. Hair emergency essentials, check. And then, on a whim, she threw in her compact one day Bible Study chart she had just ordered from PPH. One must be prepared at all times you know. She hopped into her black Volkswagon Passat, complete with tinted windows and lots and lots of chrome. She loved it! It had been a present from her on her 40th birthday. Who said that women couldn't enjoy mid-life crisis as well as men? She programmed the Crabb family into her six CD changer, cranked up the volume and headed for the highway!
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